I did something bad. I hate me.
EDIT
I honestly don't know who I am anymore. I'm a shell of the person I used to be. I had so many dreams and goals and they're all going down the shitter. I'm failing classes because I don't have the will to get out of bed or leave my apartment. I was so mad tonight that I didn't let someone make a situation right and instead made it worse. Because I was stubborn, because he didn't read my fucking mind.
Who am I?
I cut myself tonight. On the inside of my thigh. With a razor.
I swore I would never do that again. I don't even know why I thought to do it, let alone go through with it. I haven't had any alcohol, so don't blame that.
Seriously. I promised myself it would never happen again.
Please don't comment on this, please don't try to "reach out" because you think you know me and can help. I'll probably just reject it and make it worse.
1 comment:
Why do you never let anyone help you? Remember how time after time I've tried helping you with various matters and how you've just rejected my efforts?
YOU feel like you are the only one who can make things better for you. You feel like you have to be in absolute control of everything in your life. Well apparently you haven't done a good enough job at it (because it's literally impossible) and you're in denile and you will continue to be in denile until you do something about it.
Harsh? I don't think so. You've done this to yourself because you don't let yourself accept help from anyone. You need to get out of this pit, if that takes someone to push you, you need to let them push you.
Go find a counselor. Find someone who isn't a friend of yours because you won't use the advice of people close to you and after awhile, they won't want to struggle anymore trying to help you and not get anywhere. I've been in those shoes.
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