I'm sorry this is turning into a ranty blog, but I need to let out some steam.
I'm pretty easy to please as a girlfriend. So why do I feel annoyed/upset? My friends are having a study session at their house (also my boyfriend's house). He knows I know they're there, we discuss it. I say "What a fun party. I will just stay at home alone." (read: please invite me over, I am lonely). I get no response until "Hey, I'm going to bed, goodnight." AHHHHH
I don't know why this is getting me so upset, but seriously. THINK. PLEASE.
September 22, 2010
September 10, 2010
Friendship
At one point does being a good friend turn into being a third parent?
I've really been struggling with this lately. Yes, I know, I tend to be a little motherly and protective with my friends. Maybe that's where it all went wrong. But when does being nice and helpful turn into caring for and succumbing to every whim?
Let me elaborate.
I have a friend. She is my bestie and roommate, we get along really well. She is the baby in her family and the only girl, while I am the oldest and one of 2 girls. She's used to being taken care of, I'm used to taking care of people. Judge our friendship if you must, but it works.
Lately, bestie has had some problems with her boyfriend. And whenever she's upset, everyone else must be to. No matter how hard I try to cheer her up, talk to her, basically anything to make her feel less shitty, she won't budge - putting me in a sour mood for the rest of the evening. This was so bad last weekend that I was a total bitch to everyone around me because she put me in such a bad mood.
Last night, they broke up. I did the good friend thing, I sat with her while she cried, talked it out, tried to make her feel better. But we had to get up super early the next day, and I was already exhausted. I offered to have a sleepover in the living room, but she said she was fine. I felt extremely guilty going to bed, but I honestly couldn't stay awake any longer.
Today, the poor me attitude is out. Let's make me feel guilty because you only got 2 hours of sleep and are feeling alone. I get it, I've been there. But don't make me feel like crap, it's not my fault.
I've gotten to the point where I just want to get away. I'm constantly taking care of her, driving her places, cooking her meals, helping her with homework and her problems, basically being her parent, best friend, roommate, and therapist all rolled into one. And the worst part is that I feel like I owe this to her. She's helped me in many financially rough spots. Not 2 months ago I owed her over $800 (which I just finished paying her back last week!!!!), which makes me feel like helping her out is the least I can do. But am I being taken advantage of?
Am I a good friend or a personal slave?
I've really been struggling with this lately. Yes, I know, I tend to be a little motherly and protective with my friends. Maybe that's where it all went wrong. But when does being nice and helpful turn into caring for and succumbing to every whim?
Let me elaborate.
I have a friend. She is my bestie and roommate, we get along really well. She is the baby in her family and the only girl, while I am the oldest and one of 2 girls. She's used to being taken care of, I'm used to taking care of people. Judge our friendship if you must, but it works.
Lately, bestie has had some problems with her boyfriend. And whenever she's upset, everyone else must be to. No matter how hard I try to cheer her up, talk to her, basically anything to make her feel less shitty, she won't budge - putting me in a sour mood for the rest of the evening. This was so bad last weekend that I was a total bitch to everyone around me because she put me in such a bad mood.
Last night, they broke up. I did the good friend thing, I sat with her while she cried, talked it out, tried to make her feel better. But we had to get up super early the next day, and I was already exhausted. I offered to have a sleepover in the living room, but she said she was fine. I felt extremely guilty going to bed, but I honestly couldn't stay awake any longer.
Today, the poor me attitude is out. Let's make me feel guilty because you only got 2 hours of sleep and are feeling alone. I get it, I've been there. But don't make me feel like crap, it's not my fault.
I've gotten to the point where I just want to get away. I'm constantly taking care of her, driving her places, cooking her meals, helping her with homework and her problems, basically being her parent, best friend, roommate, and therapist all rolled into one. And the worst part is that I feel like I owe this to her. She's helped me in many financially rough spots. Not 2 months ago I owed her over $800 (which I just finished paying her back last week!!!!), which makes me feel like helping her out is the least I can do. But am I being taken advantage of?
Am I a good friend or a personal slave?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)