Kind of like gelatin

I get the missing your ex thing, but this is just getting ridiculous.

M and I broke up over a year ago, last last March. And it wasn't an easy break-up for me, previous blogs will reveal this. But I've moved on. Except every once in a while I'll get very sad, and I'll miss him. And it's not just me! Because we've talked about it. We've talked about how we miss the old stuff, but know we can't get back together because it's too weird. We broke up for a reason, right? A lot has changed since then, but we still broke up for a reason, right?

And how could it work, living so far away. I'm the type of person that needs to be near, at least near enough to easily get to. I know some people can do the long distance thing, but I'm not sure if I could. I probably could, but it would be very hard, especially beginning a "new" relationship apart.

It's just very weird. I don't want to date him, but I kind of do sometimes. Every once in a while. But I think it's just me looking in the past, back when we had a really great relationship. I think that's what I miss. That is what I miss. And as much as I would love to have that again, I don't think it's possible. But still, that small parts of me yearns for it. And it makes me do silly things, like text him and tell him I miss him. WHYYYYYYYYY?!?

Relationships are slippery business.

summertime

So for once I don't have a thousand things to do, so I decided to just write. Who knows what will happen!! Golly gee!!!!

I'm wondering what's going to happen this summer. I don't really have friends in Iowa City anymore. They all went home! And I have friends at home...but I won't be there. It's feeling a little depressing right now, but I'm sure I'll find hope. I'm going to be working at the Iowa Children's Museum almost full time, being a counselor at the Iowa summer music camps in June, and beginning my HMB librarian job in August. Busy much?

I can do busy. What I can't do is people-less. I'll have my family, since I'm living at my aunt and uncle's house. They're expecting a baby soon, so that should bring some excitement. I just won't really have people my age. They're not going to be right there like they have been all my life. Right in my town, right across the river, right in my dorm for goodness sakes. And now they're miles...literally, miles away. One of my best friends that I've been so grateful to have acquired this year lives 40 miles away. Yeah, that's drivable. But really, I'm going to have to have a couple days off work to really make it worth it. And then there's the driving (hey guys, gas is still expensive...). It will be difficult.

Not to mention my family. Mostly my siblings. Mostly my brother. He is really upset that I'm not home anymore. I feel terrible. I've always been a second mother to him. I've taken care of him since he was born, really. Long story. Too long for this post, and far too personal for the tone I'm going for. I want to be there for him, but I know I'm doing the right thing by staying here.

I think.

Anyway, since I'll be sad and alone this summer, you can expect much postage. Hooray?

We'll see. I'm curious to see who still follows me. So this is a test! Yay!

Remember when I used this?

Yeah, me too. Sorry.