Good day

I feel good today.
I'm still praying.

I keep your letter right here at my desk.
So I don't forget what's at stake.
To remind me to become this better person I'm on my way towards.

I'm staying positive!

Light

I know you're confused.
You make me confused too.
Not about what I want, but about how you feel.
You knew that though.

One minute I get a YES and then the next a NO.
oaiytnauiebygaidyfd
Yes, it's frusterating. But I'll be patient.
I've waited a week, I can wait a while longer.

I'll keep trying.
Putting myself out there.
It hurts.
Knowing I may get turned down in the end.
But it's worth it to know there's a chance.

I'll be praying the answer is Yes.

i'm going crazy.
i can't stand it.
i can't take it.

i don't know what else to do.

help.

Ahhh...

I can't seem to sleep anymore lol.
However, I've been getting pretty good ideas as I lie in my bed non sleeping.

I bought August Rush today. I love that movie. It makes me happy.
Life's too short you know?
I realized that today.
I don't want to waste my time anymore.
I'm not a very good person.
I'm sick of being me.

I think I need to fix this.
Will you help me?
I think you can fill this hole
and propel me along my path.
Besides,
it's always easier when you have a hand to hold.


I need to stop posting like this.
I'm sorry, but I just can't stop thinking about you.
But it's either this, or call you.

And it's a little late for that.

Today I thought of when you and I went to A-land for the first time.
And fed the fishies.
I meant what I said.
I still do. Let's go back in time.
I know I can take you there.

one hour at a time

i keep waiting for the days to get easier.
they do, a little bit, i suppose.
they still seem so empty.

i hope you're thinking about me.

One small step for Jessica...

i went to church this morning.
i was nervous to go.
it wasn't scary though.

i wouldn't mind going again.

Everything is NOT ok.

You say it is.
But I am not ok.
You don't want me to be everything.
Ok, I won't.
You prayed for change, and I'm changing!
Why can't you see that?
You say I don't believe, and that's true.
But
I do believe in something else.
I wish you did too.
Because I'm falling apart.
Last night I had to force myself not to call you.
Because I knew it wouldn't do any good.
I'm begging you to give it a chance.

Two weeks ago you said you loved me.
I refuse to believe that you can just stop.