Better

This October, Matthew would have been 18.

How did I get here? How has it been 18 years since I remember my mommy coming home from the doctor's in tears?

How has it been 11 years since Jake was born, 16 since Erin?

How am I in my senior year of college?

I've disappointed myself. I knew better, and I allowed myself to become mediocre.

I am more than this. I may have found my great love, but I am more than this.

I need to be better than this. For my family, for him, for my friends,

FOR ME.