Speaking up.

My heart is broken.
And not because of the usual.

My friends, the ones who are supposed to be the closest to me, have found better things to do. This is the third night in a row now that I've called them and they either ignore me completely or have other plans. It hurts like hell that I'm not as important to them anymore.

Friend #1

I'm so glad you've found someone to be happy with. You haven't had the easiest year with that. I understand you guys need to spend time alone and such. But seriously. Lately, I've really needed someone to talk to and you aren't really there. You're off with her. Let me again say I have nothing against her and I'm very glad you are with her. But you're blowing me off and it hurts. I was there for you when you had troubles. I have sat and cried with you and now that I'm still dealing with things..I'm sorry. I don't want you to think I'm mad at you. I just miss my friend.

Friend #2

Things are weird. Don't think I don't realize...I've been up and down and clinging. I'm sorry I can't seem to get over you. I'm sorry I ruined a really good relationship. I hate myself for it. But you promised me things wouldn't change too much. You said you'd be here for me and said I was one of your best friends. I know I have complicated things too much lately. I haven't made anything easy on you. Believe me, I'm trying to figure things out. It would be a whole lot easier if I had my best friend on my side. I don't want to push you away anymore. So can you please let down your guard a bit? If I can't have you as a boyfriend, will you at least let me have you as a best friend?


This is the last real summer. And I'm very alone.
I'm longing for someone to reach out to me.
My arm is getting tired.